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homestuck by Nerdyvampyrechick

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Submitted on
January 15, 2013
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"Yeah, so we drove to her hive, and..."

You sighed as Rufioh talked on the phone with Tavros. You understood that your matesprit was excited to find his dancestor, but really. It had been THREE HOURS. During that time, you had walked stark naked in front of him FIVE times, yet he continued to talk.
"O-oh, RUFIOH~!" you pretended to moan from across the room. Nothing.
Finally you straddled his legs with your chest in his face. "Rufioh~ It's so hot in here, dontcha think?" you asked, pulling up your shirt.
"...just tell her you don't like being stabbed..." Nitram continued, ignoring your breasts bouncing in his face.
You growled in annoyance and pushed him down onto his back. "Rufioh Nitram, if you don't hang up with Tavros in the next ten seconds, you're not filling buckets for half a sweep."
His eyes widened as he muttered something to Tavros and threw the phone to the other side of the room.
"Sorry 'bout that, lovegrub."
" Yo, yo, I heard, someone was calling you~" the phone rang from underneath a pile of your clothes. Rufioh picked up his head and glanced at it. You tightened your grip on his waist. "Get up and be chaste for an entire sweep."
"Right, sorry." He settled back down and buried his head in your neck.
We all know Rufioh would spend hours talking on the phone. That is, until Reader-chan threatens him with no sex.
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KitsuneThe-Fox-Demon Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
It took me three times reading this before I realized that theCA-RAACK was a whip cracking... I'm going to crawl into my hole now.
radomnessrandomhi Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014  Student Writer
I'm pretty sure that that crack wasn't a whip, but Rufiohs horns cracking you on the head when he burrows his head into your neck
cherryontopwithlove Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That is my ringtone... yo I heard someone was calling you and if ya dont pickup it might make em feel blue dont let go to your voice mail it might be someone who wants to fill a pale
That is what it actually is...
Happyluckygirl22 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wait w)(at was t)(at crack??????
godtierjoanegbert Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I have two men in one of my households (my parents are divorced) and they both have ADHD. Think of how it is living in here. TOO MANY MEEEEEN.
Thornpelt125 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
wow i feel bad for you ;(
godtierjoanegbert Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, it's fine. I have ADHD, but not the H (hyperactive) part. Soooo, it's easy to drift off during class. And get in trouble.
Thornpelt125 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah me too... it gets annoying a lot. 
godtierjoanegbert Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thornpelt125 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
;( yup 
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