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Kurloz x Reader
"I got... Kurloz..." You murmured. You... Weren't really sure how this was going to work. You really did like Kurloz! It was just... Kind of weird to play seven minutes in heaven with him. He helped you up and led you to the closet while you contemplated the mysteries of showing him you loved him. You could- no. That would be awkward. Or you two would- nope, wasn't possible. Or maybe- GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, WOMAN. I mean really? Why would you even think that?
You realized that while you had been speaking, you had entered the tiny space and were standing face to face Kurloz. You blushed furiously and clasped and unclapsed your hands nervously. "Umm, so... I really like your hair... And your eyes... And the way you, uh, communicate..." You continued to ramble on anxiously about how much you liked him while Kurloz stood there and smiled. Finally, you realized most of your time was gone. "O-oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to keep talking like that..."
He just smiled even wider and placed a finger on your mouth. He leaned in and nuzzled your nose, just as Dave opened the door. "This... I didn't think possible. Whatever, just get out of my closet."
ARE YOU READY FOR THE BACKGROUND INFORMATION GATHERING QUOTES? Too bad, here they are.

Me: Hey, quick, kind of awkward question. If you were stuck in a closet with a guy whose lips were sewn shut, and he was your crush, what would you do?
Vriska: unsew his lips
Me: ...No, he doesn't want his lips to be unsewn. Whaddya do?
Vriska: raep him
Me: ... NO! YOU ARE A SEMI-INNOCENT GIRL STUCK IN A CLOSET WITH YOUR CRUSH WHOSE LIPS CANNOT BE UNSEWN FOR RESAONS. What do you do?
Vriska: raep him
Me: I hate you sometimes.

Yes. Vriska has bad ideas about what to put in a fanfic. She wrote a Substitute Teacher!William x Student!Reader. It was SO FREAKING CREEPY. And it was a lime. And it was so FREAKING CREEPY! Like Meulin, Nepeta and I kind of threw the paper at her and ran away creepy.

Anyway, here ya go. This one was inspired by me, because Vriska, Nepeta, and Meulin all have bad Kurloz ideas.
Also, I am being told to tell you to read 'pear' backwards. Just do it.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfantroll-mowzers:
Fantroll-Mowzers Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Student Artist
Awe



FLOOF.



*nuzzle nuzzle*


Kawaii..........
Reply
:icongadzookslookategderp:
GadzooksLookAtEgderp Featured By Owner Edited Dec 27, 2014  Student General Artist
Me: ...No, he doesn't want his lips to be unsewn. Whaddya do?
Vriska: raep him
Me: ... NO! YOU ARE A SEMI-INNOCENT GIRL STUCK IN A CLOSET WITH YOUR CRUSH WHOSE LIPS CANNOT BE UNSEWN FOR RESAONS. What do you do?
Vriska: raep him



PERFECT ANSWER "RAEP  HIM"








Roxy: oh der *dar *dre *rea *fukkit vrizka




me: OH EM GEE srly vriska
Reply
:icondeadlynightshade97:
deadlynightshade97 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Touching noses! *Squeeeeee!* That's good for Kurloz, as is hugging! So cute!
Reply
:iconnoname00742:
noname00742 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014
FU dave!!!! totally troll blocked me there man!
Reply
:iconthe2pofhungary:
the2pofhungary Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Me: Just huggle. Be obvious for them. It'd be cute. And if he was gonnabe matesprits (that is my only quadrant empty) and he were ready to unsew his lips it's be perfect!
Reply
:iconnekoninja26:
Nekoninja26 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
What's a lime? Oops! 
Reply
:iconepicallypervy:
EpicallyPervy Featured By Owner May 30, 2014
Well, it's basically a story where there are sexual acts, except for actual sex. It could be anything but the subject (reader insert or slash fiction) getting laid
Reply
:iconkankri---vantas:
Kankri---Vantas Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Quite interesting. I 6elieve y9u did quite well.
Reply
:iconivyvines13:
ivyvines13 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
.............Kankri? If it's not too triggering for you, I would like to inquire as to why you would even read something like this.....?
Reply
:iconkankri---vantas:
Kankri---Vantas Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
I agree. I get quite 69red at times, s9 I read this.
Reply
:iconivyvines13:
ivyvines13 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Ah. Yes, boredom 'tis awful. No one enjoys it, unless they don't like doing things.................
Reply
:iconkankri---vantas:
Kankri---Vantas Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Quite s9.
Reply
:iconivyvines13:
ivyvines13 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
But you do not appear to be one of those who enjoys not having something to do.
Reply
:iconkankri---vantas:
Kankri---Vantas Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
S9 i find things t9 d9. Its quite simple.
Reply
:iconivyvines13:
ivyvines13 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
The-re- is truth in the- words you have- just utte-re-d.
Reply
:iconi-hate-happy-people:
I-HATE-HAPPY-PEOPLE Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014
"This... I didn't think possible. Whatever, just get out of my closet."
Reply
:iconacreepypastastory:
ACreepyPastaStory Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013
"Whatever, just get out of my closet."

BeSt PaRt.
HoNk.
xoD
Reply
:icondoozarts:
Doozarts Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
GOTTDAMMIT DAVE >:C
Reply
:iconsolluxsmine889:
SolluxsMINE889 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ANDDDDDDD
DAVE RUINED IT XD
Reply
:iconv0dk4mutini:
V0dk4Mutini Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
wow. Just. Wow Dave. XD
Reply
:iconvaniiiasprinkies:
vaniIIasprinkIes Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013   Writer
Me: 'pear' spelt backwards is spelled 'raep'....

.......

You: :iconyoudontsayplz:
Reply
:iconfiregoddess122:
FireGoddess122 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Hobbyist
"and it was a lime..."
I don't know why that cracked me up so much....
Reply
:iconaphitaly:
APHItaly Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I would kiss him^^
Reply
:icongods-of-the-light:
gods-of-the-light Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013
Q: You are a semi-innocent girl stuck in a closet with your crush whose lips cannot be unsewn for reasons. What do you do?
A: Snip them stitches and show that guy he was seriously missing out in the sloppy makeouts department. He'll thank ya for it. Or he might destroy you with his chucklevoodoos. The results are the same anyway.


i got bored and this was the best out of several answers i wrote down
Reply
:iconaphitaly:
APHItaly Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Aww
Reply
:iconc4--frosty:
C4--Frosty Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"Dave? Are you saying what I think you're saying?" C4--Frosty inquires to the blond, referring to the last line.
"If you're thinking that I'm a homo, then no, you're wrong." Dave's eye twitches behind his sunglasses.
"Well, you said it was your closet, so-"
"Just shut up. Shut up."
"But I need to comment." Before Dave could make a witty comeback, Frosty says "Kurloz is sweet. Like, so fairy sweet. Unimaginably. And this was nice. Fairy nice. And I can't think of anything else to say, so I'm probably counting this as another rant-like-ramble-session thing. So, I bid you farewell, random stranger."
"You really need to stop rambling. It's so uncool," Dave says, earning a light hit to the back of his head.
Reply
:iconangeloflight22:
AngelofLight22 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Student General Artist
did he Eskimo kiss me? aww that cute bastard
Reply
:iconvaniiiasprinkies:
vaniIIasprinkIes Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013   Writer
I'm laughing way too hard. <:'D Eskimo kiss LOL
Reply
:iconangeloflight22:
AngelofLight22 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Student General Artist
O3e
Reply
:iconvaniiiasprinkies:
vaniIIasprinkIes Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013   Writer
x3
Reply
:iconangeloflight22:
AngelofLight22 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Student General Artist
:P
Reply
:iconforgottenforsaken:
FoRgOtTeNfOrSaKeN Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Student General Artist
i know right?so cute
Reply
:iconangeloflight22:
AngelofLight22 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Student General Artist
Yup
Reply
:iconangie103:
Angie103 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Student General Artist
Pffffft wow dave xD
Reply
:iconsoxxymoxxy:
soxxymoxxy Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Student Writer
.w.
*fondly regards kurloz*
Reply
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